Motherless Brooklyn by Jonathan Lethem

The thing I repeatedly kept noticing was the subtle ways in which the "Minna Men" were trying to replicate the mannerisms and behavior of Frank Minna after his death. It seems strange that they would literally want to become someone else, but then upon further inspection it is not so far-fetched after all. Minna is the only person that has ever showed a sort of interest in these boys/men and is the only one that ever takes them under his wing. He is, in a way, a father figure for them. Here are some of the moments in which they try to replicate him:
(Simon Says...)

• "I dressed in my best suit, donned Minna's watch instead of my own, and clipped his beeper to my hip... I was Minna's successor and avenger..." (132).
• "'Tony, it's me,' I said. 'Essrog.' That was how Minna always started a phone call: Lionel, it's Minna. You're the first name, I'm the last. In other words: You're the jerk and I'm the jerk's boss" (153).
• "'Name? Who's calling, sir?' I took out one of Minna's cards. 'Frank Minna,' I said. The name came easily, and I didn't feel any need to distort it the way I would my own" (158). Having Frank's name makes him feel more comfortable than having his own!
• "... collar up against the cold like Minna, unshaven like Minna now, too..." (226).
• Danny starts driving the Caddy, the car Minna liked to drive (239).
• Checking the time on Minna's watch as if it is his own (249).

There is a parallel between the fork he steals from the house of Matricardi and Rockaforte and Kimmery. He says of the fork just as he says of Kimmery: "... I imagined that if I had it in my pocket I might never need to tic aloud again" (63). What do the fork and Kimmery have in common? They are both, in a way, forbidden. Niether of them stop him from ticcing, though, as he originally surmises.

Interesting tidbit: The cat in this book has a "Hitler mustache". Remind you of some other text we've come across in ENG 445?



Prince - Kiss by cdipre

The Dark Knight Returns by Frank Miller

Connection between Montage of a Dream Deferred and this: "A young boy dashes past me, healthy, dirty, and beautiful... I see the face of a killer who isn't yet old enough to shave."

This reminds me of the poem Flatted Fifths in which Hughes muses on the draft and how young boys are forced to grow up much too fast. It seems as if in a crime-ridden city such as Gotham City, this would also be the case.

I also see connections between this and American Psycho where The Joker is telling people he is going to kill them but they don't listen. Bateman does the same thing. People ignore them in favor of ignorance, contentment, and therefore happiness.

Another connection between this and another piece we've attended to in class is with Cabaret. There is a swastika on the blonde woman on p. 106. Nazism seems to be a symbol in these works for an invasion from the outside, something attempting to stop their current train of action or thought.

Pictures in relation to text... We can tell the motives of characters that we would otherwise not know if we didn't have the pictures. On p. 47 we know the true motives of The Joker due to the evil smile he gives while asking a seemingly innocent question. Also, we can tell when a character is very sick or hurt due to the condition of their thought bubbles or faces. When they are in extreme pain these things are scraggly and wilted. This gives the reader a more well-rounded idea of the state of affairs throughout the book--more so than a book solely made of text would.

It seems ridiculous to me that Batman is continuously blamed for decisions other people make and crimes other people commit. It is also baffling how, while there is so much devastation and death happening in the city, there are still constant media interruptions about rumors, gossip, celebrities, etc. The only thoughts going through my head at this point are STOP TALKING AND START ACTING! Why is everyone wasting time talking and speculating and debating about right and wrong when it makes no difference? The only RIGHT thing to do would be to act now and go to help the people who have been hurt and try to prevent more injuries and destruction.

American Psycho

My initial thoughts to this movie (literally, this is what struck me enough to write down while watching the movie):

• Opening scene a reflection of the grotesque; the act of eating
• Ketchup comparison to blood. I thought it was blood at first and the fact that I now know it was actually edible food kind of disgusts me. These two things should not be confused--something to ingest and something that is in your body already, running through your veins. GROTESQUE.
• Literally peeling off his mask. Simultaneously describing how he has no emotions; he is like a hollow shell of a person/an onion with no center, just peeling off layer after layer of lifelessness.
• Getting a good table at the restaurant seems overly important to him. Very obsessed with appearances and status.
• Scene in back of taxi: his face is blurred but not his fiance's, once again reinforcing the fact that he is lifeless with no core.
• There is a disorienting switch from a murder scene (he is murdering a homeless man) to a scene of serenity where he is getting a massage with calm background music. The juxtaposition of these scenes is too much.
• Nothing is said about the pig his fiance is carrying at the party. Is this normal? Do people routinely carry pigs around? Quite a grotesque choice in a pet.
• I am unable to comprehend how my peers sitting around me in this classroom are laughing right now. This character is not funny to me and nothing he does amuses me. He simply disgusts me and I feel intense hatred for someone so narcissistic and cruel. It is a bit extreme I guess... This exaggeration could be what is funny? I wish I could stop being disgusted for long enough to feel this amusement.
• Always comparing himself to the other businessmen around him... Comparing to the point of ridiculousness.
• Detective is asking him questions about the murder of Paul Allen... Way to be discreet Patrick Bateman... It is not obvious at all that you are the one that killed him. Why don't you act a little more jumpy and evasive?
• Strange moment when the Dorsia employee he is on the phone with simply laughs maliciously and loudly in his ear. Very exaggerated. Maybe to show how Patrick Bateman inwardly feels whenever he is humiliated in this way?
• Mergers and acquisitions-->murders and executions
• Very, very adamant that the secretary put the spoon IN the ice cream carton instead of on the coffee table. More of his obsessive and narcissistic tendencies at work.
• He controls his urges to kill with the secretary. Does this mean he does not want to be a killer? This is the only indicator I have of this idea because at every other part he seems to have no inhibitions or second thoughts about his sadistic and murderous thoughts or acts. He even explicitly says at the beginning and end of the movie that he basically has no feelings or remorse.

Cabaret

This movie portrays a unique transition in history--between new emerging ideas of self and Nazism. Right when people were starting to gain individual momentum--the emergence of new and expressive forms of art, performance (such as cabaret), and increasing comfort with the grotesque, Nazis gained momentum and stomped it all out. The vogue-esque costumes and very openly sexual performances of the Cabaret were quickly banned once the Nazis gained power (the documentary of Degenerate Art we watched in class is also an example of this happening).

One thing I was unaware of before watching Cabaret, though, is that the Nazis started out as a sort of joke, something not to be taken seriously. People thought they could simply deal with them later. My curiosity is, if people wouldn't have had such a nonchalant attitude toward the group to begin with, could they have been stopped? Could the lives of millions of people have been saved?

This reminds me of something I wrote about in my final paper. People are happier in ignorance, and as a result they ignore the warnings that are staring them in the face. At times this tendency of people to favor ignorance causes them a lot of pain and suffering in the long run. Had people of this time period taken the Nazis more seriously, the tragedies that followed may have been less devastating.

This is not to say that it is the fault of the general public for the horrible things that happened during this time period--it is merely a different point from which to view the events that occurred.

It is interesting to muse on what the world could be like now if it weren't for the Nazis putting an end to all of the self-expression that was just beginning to spark. What kind of paths that had been stopped in their tracks would have continued and where would they have gone? If things would have kept going as they were previous to the Nazis coming to power and if the Cabaret could have stayed in business, who knows what it would have morphed into uninterrupted. If only people wouldn't have been fooled by the initial mask worn by the Nazis portraying them as nonthreatening.

Is Vogue a more modern style of Cabaret?

 Cabaret

Vogue

The Wild Party by Joseph Moncure March

My favorite image in this long poem is that of the candles. It is so genius to me the way in which, when the flickering of the candles is described in a different manner, the overall tone and rhythm of the party alters as well.

The state of the candles indicate the arrival of a new or changing atmosphere and changes the way the story is read. When “the party began to get going”, “the candles sputtered: their flames were gay; / And the shadows lept back out of the way” (43). The tone shifts to the more high-paced and chaotic environment of a 'wild party'. This changes the context in which the reader places the characters and makes the reading a different experience.It is no longer simply taking place in the private space belonging to Queenie and Burrs, the only characters we are initially introduced to. Now it is transformed into a bustling atmosphere and the behaviors, actions, and performances of all the characters are altered in response to these new surroundings. Just as the candles “sputtered” and “[a]re gay,” so are the party guests at this particular moment.

When the party reaches its climax “the candles flared: their flames sprang high: / The shadows leaned disheveled, awry” (68). The shadows are “disheveled” and wildly springing, just like people under the influence of alcohol often appear to be in the height of their fun. The candles are parallel to the party guests. The existence of this coordination is not merely coincidence; rather, in addition to providing light to see with, they suggest the tonal quality of particular moments in the poem.

Candles are typically lit at night or in dark places. Not only do they allow us to see objects in front of us with our eyes, but in this case they allow us to see coming events as well.

The Iceman Cometh by Eugene O'Neill

First off I'd like to say that O'Neill's plays are so perplexing (of the two I've read before--this one and Long Day's Journey Into Night). Long Day's Journey Into Night, another good play by O'Neill, would also be an interesting piece to analyze in compilation with the theme of this class. It takes a unique stance of its own on the time after dark and its implications.

There is one aspect of The Iceman Cometh that I found particularly striking: The way all the characters need affirmation from peers before they can show their own feelings.

When asking Larry about suicide toward the end of the play and Larry says he should go for it, Parritt replies, "Thanks, Larry. I just wanted to be sure" (209). He acts as if Larry is simply confirming his supposition that he should kill himself, and that he knew that was what he had to do all along, but really what is happening here is that Larry is making the decision for him. If he would have said that he should not kill himself, it is indubitable that Parritt would have said that same exact thing ("Thanks, Larry. I just wanted to be sure").

There are also moments in the play where the barroom full of men will sit around uneasily during all of Hickey's speeches of things that make them uncomfortable such as following through with their words, but then as soon as Hope or someone gives a speech of how they should disregard Hickey and get drunk, they all cheer and laugh and say they've been thinking just that all along. They will not tell Hickey how they feel but instead give him the satisfaction of going along with him. Why? Why don't they just tell him that they don't want to change their situation and to go away? They need affirmation from the people around them because they have too low of self-esteem to make these decisions for themselves. They are very set in their ways of the group dynamic and when one takes one path, the others will eagerly follow, but it is very rare that someone takes the first step in a certain direction.

This is certainly true concerning their pipe dreams. When one takes the first necessary step toward accomplishing their pipe dream, the others follow, but when he stops and does not fully carry it out, the others do that too. Although Hope sort of carries out his pipe dream by going outside, he does not really accomplish much because he ends up turning right back around and coming inside and never going back out. His life is not better for it.

In this play it seems as if the pipe dreams are meant for the nighttime or the time "after dark". The peculiar thing about this play is that that time seems to be all the time. They are always in the dark barroom. Also, alcohol is typically associated with being consumed at night, which is something they do at all hours of the clock. These men are in a perpetual state of night, therefore they never have the reality of the daytime to carry out their dreams within. Whereas most people do their introspective thinking and dreaming at night, these men do it all the time. This play is one long series of endless empty dreams; hence this particular version of the nighttime is one of complete hopelessness.

Jazz by Toni Morrison

The parts in books that I find most interesting are often the parts that I can relate to my own life the most, which is understandable seeing as that is, I believe, the reason people read literature--in order to have some kind of revelation or life-changing thoughts that relate to themselves. In Jazz, this part for me was:

"She thinks she longs for rest, a carefree afternoon to decide suddenly to go to the pictures, or just to sit with the birdcages and listen to the children play in the snow. This notion of rest, it's attractive to her, but I don't think she would like it. They are all like that, these women. Waiting for the ease, the space that need not be filled with anything other than the drift of their own thoughts. But they wouldn't like it. They are busy and thinking of ways to be busier because such a space of nothing pressing to do would knock them down" (16).

This makes me think of all the times I long to have a day with absolutely nothing to do, but on the very odd chance there is actually a day like this, I usually find myself feeling guilty for not being productive and getting things accomplished. Our days are so full of business and tasks that we don't know how to live on "island time" and to live in a simpler way. The fast paced 21st century has us preoccupied with things that, in the grand scheme of things, don't really matter. A day with nothing to do always leaves me feeling restless and ashamed of myself, although I don't know if it should.

... It's kind of like a pipe dream. We go for months wishing something would happen, then when we actually get the opportunity to make it come to fruition, we don't take advantage of it.

A longing for rest could also bring about a seemingly too simple solution. Why not use the nighttime? The rest of the world is asleep and this would be the perfect opportunity to have nothing pressing on the agenda. In this way, the night is a time of calm.

Montage of a Dream Deferred by Langston Hughes

While reading these poems, I tried to treat them as a sort of running narrative. It's interesting to read poetry collections in this way because it allows you to look for connections and possibly unveil something striking that otherwise would not emerge from reading the poems separately (although that can have its benefits as well). Three poems that I found interesting when strung together were "Movies", "Tell Me", and "Not a Movie" (230-231).

In the first poem, "Movies", the lines that strike me most are "(Hollywood / laughs at me, / black-- / so I laugh / back.)" This poem is I think identifying the fact that Hollywood alienates colored people and, initially, these people don't know how to react to their very specific roles in films and television. In the next poem ("Tell Me") it seems as if the speaker has a more developed idea of their role and their opinion about it.

"Why should it be my loneliness, / Why should it be my song, / Why should it be my dream" (231). It does seem as if colored people are pinpointed in films as being the 'underdogs' or the ones dealing with "loneliness", singing a mournful "song", or having a "dream" that they have to overcome many hardships to get to. Their dreams are "deferred / overlong" and they are romanticized and it the same time belittled in the films that show them in these stereotypical roles.

"Not a Movie" touches on the reality of being a colored person. It exemplifies all of the real brutalities that colored people had to endure and they are not romanticized whatsoever. The protagonist of the poem is running for his life and never has the ability to stop; he is abused and fleeing and has no other choice.

These three poems together tell a story and have a message: that the colored person's life in the time alluded to is nothing like the ones exhibited in the movies. In fact, the movies get it quite wrong. Colored people are stereotyped and alienated and these three poems seek to set the record straight. This is a message I could not have come to without reading the poems in sequence and in relation to one another.

The protagonist in the third poem uses the nighttime as his window to escape.

"Sonny's Blues" by James Baldwin

My favorite part of the story: "'Well, Sonny,' I said gently, 'you know people can't always do exactly what they want to do-' 'No, I don't know that,' said Sonny, surprising me. 'I think people ought to do what they want to do, what else are they alive for?'

Until this point in the story I kind of thought Sonny was just being a bit selfish and foolish, but this statement on his part really made me start respecting him. His surprise at the narrator's statement, one that most people would think wise, and his very down-to-earth reply, free of self-consciousness, is great to me. This is one of the philosophies of my life--my most important one in fact. And I think so often people tend to forget it and get caught up in other things for the wrong reasons, when the truth is that you only live ONCE, and Sonny has more knowledge in this respect than any other character in the story. I think this part is brilliant because it challenges a very basic and, upon first glance, simple human assumption in a very nonchalant and simple way--a way that I believe has the potential to convince the non-believers of this philosophy. This is a very very difficult thing to do because people who believe that money and a successful career are the most important things in life are hard to budge.

An example of what happens to the non-believers of this philosophy who go on in philosophical ignorance is later described in the story. "A man fumbled in his pockets for change and stood holding it in his hand impatiently, as though he had just remembered a pressing appointment further up the avenue. He looked furious" (17). Too often in daily life do I come across people like this--just angry and impatient for no reason whatsoever. How can one live ones life in such misery? My hypothesis is that they just neglect to spend enough time simply doing what they want and therefore live their lives in a mad, gray world.

"And something told me that I should curb my tongue, that Sonny was doing his best to talk, that I should listen" (19).

"I realized, with this mocking look, that there stood between us, forever, beyond the power of time or forgiveness,  the fact that I had held silence-so long! -when he had needed human speech to help him" (19).

Sonny is like music--"not many people ever really hear it" (22). Sonny's problem is that no one will really listen to him, that is why he relates so well to music. Sonny uses music to communicate (23).

These three excerpts from different parts of the story remind me of just how difficult it is to really listen and to find good listeners. I know sometimes I need to stop myself and remind myself that I should really think about what that other person is saying to me and give them some useful input, but sometimes we just get so caught up in our own problems and situations that we don't do as good a job listening as we should. This preoccupation and failure to truly listen, when taken too far, can put a large strain on relationships. It is interesting that Sonny uses jazz music as communication. It is a genre of music that is typically thought of as being expressed in the nighttime or in dark or obscure places (such as smoky barrooms), so this could suggest that Sonny can express himself the best at night. This brings me to my album project on Regina Spektor and how most of her songs were about how nighttime opens the door for expression and desire to surge forth. Music has a knack for doing this apparently.

Other perplexing moments in the text:

• Heroin is Sonny's version of control (18).


• "'Tell me,' I said at last, 'why does he want to die? He must want to die, he's killing himself, why does he want to die?' (4)
• When the waitress smiles and when Sonny smiles the narrator can tell so much from them. "... when he smiled, when we shook hands, the baby brother I'd never known looked out from the depths of his private life..." (5). Reminds me of the mask idea.
• Hard life of children in the projects. "But houses exactly like the houses of our past yet dominated the landscape, boys exactly like the boys we once had been found themselves smothering in these houses, came down into the streets for light and air and found themselves encircled by disaster" (6). "They don't bother with the windows, they watch the TV screen instead. The playground is most popular with the children who don't play at jacks, or skip rope, or roller skate, or swing, and they can be found in it after dark" (7). Reminds me of the Hughes poem about "chillen" these days and also the poem about the boys that are forced to grow up too fast. "...you be getting the checks" reminds me of the Hughes poems as well (9).

The Lathe of Heaven by Ursula K. Le Guin

This book was one of my favorite pieces we have read in this class. It sort of reminds me of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, what with the strange-looking aliens and their seemingly infinite knowledge and peculiar plot line and all.  My favorite quote from the book is "... I am living in a nightmare, from which from time to time I wake in sleep" (38).

The aspects of this book that most strike me are: 1) the transformation of the character of Haber throughout and 2) the contradicting nature of George Orr's character.

When we first meet Haber, he is just a doctor with a small practice and a desire to have an office with a view. He gets an "awful chill at the pit of his chest" when he realizes what George Orr can truly do with his dreams (24). He seems to be the vulnerable one at this point, being introduced to a whole new scary concept and, by extension, world. The next time he and Orr meet, after he has had a chance to collect himself and think through what had happened, he begins looking at Orr as "a born victim" and he is "bay-maned, huge, boom[ing] out, 'Good afternoon!'" which makes him seem like the intimidating one (28). Orr is now in the vulnerable position and admits to feeling helpless when sleeping in Haber's presence. Haber's newfound awareness of Orr's "condition" changes him; he feeds off Orr and his power and Orr feels responsible for the way in which Haber now seems power-hungry and uncaring or only morally conscious in the realm of the social commonwealth rather than the individual. George insists that Haber is not an inherently bad man, but "it's the chance of power that [his] dreams give him that twist him around. He keeps acting a part, and this gives him such an awfully big part to play... He wants to improve life for humanity. Is that wrong?"(75).

It's strange how George is still sticking up for Haber, even after he has been taking advantage of him and completely disregarding his goals for his therapy sessions. Yet Haber and others in the book feed off of George. Lelache eventually compares him to a block of wood, he is so sturdy even though he is going through so much chaos; to me it seems as if he is the strongest person in the book, even stronger than Haber who is described as a giant toward the end. Haber wants to help the general wellness of the world and make society better or perfect, but he us using George to do this rather than his own skills. George is the powerful one here despite his being called "girlish" and "victim".

For me this relates to the theme of after dark because it is generally thought that things can happen at night that make us victims. Night is the space in which burglaries, robberies, and crime happen, but since Orr creates a new world with his dreams, he has a lot of control in the realm of the nighttime, whether he wants it or not. He proves everybody wrong who initially pinpoints him as a victim. Haber seems to become the victim of power hunger and it is infinite--he will never reach a point in which he is satisfied with how he has changed the world. In the end of the book, Orr seems content, whereas Haber is obviously not satisfied while in the insane asylum.

I hope these ramblings make sense, but that is part of what I wanted to do with this blog. Rambling helps me to sort out my thoughts!


Here is a comparison between the two aliens that reminded me of each other (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Lathe of Heaven) in their film adaptations!

 Lathe of Heaven

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

 

Other moments of interest:

• Haber as an onion/no center--p.81 
• Haber's collective morality, just no morality for individuals--p. 83
• The nature of Night by Victor Hugo (the only place in the novel we really see explicit comment on the nighttime itself and it is by a different author)--pg. 89
• Lelache's new image of Orr; he is like a block of wood. He starts out weak but ends up looking very strong.--p. 96
• Lelache-manly, Orr-girly (earlier when Haber is describing him).--p. 101
• "Lelache" means The Coward--p. 103 
• Lelache's conclusion about Orr's condition (my preferred conclusion): "you don't suppose you'd be allowed to do anything you weren't supposed to do" --p. 107
• Haber protecting his machine but not a care for Orr. 124 role reversal Haber weak Orr powerful--p.121
• Haber would lead his country out of the mess--p. 125
• Ourr had no character--p. 130
• Haber's more vast power and determination to cure the world--p. 131
• Romans+Coliseum, Pantheon--p. 134-136  
• Haber says why are you so afraid of yourself George? His philosophy is backward "It's not how you get there, but where you get that counts."--p. 139
• Orr has no social conscience.... uses his 'power' as a mask! moral jellyfish.--p. 147

"Prayer for Marriage" by Steve Scafidi

Of the poetry collection we read for class on 1/22, the poem "Prayer for Marriage" was the most beautiful to me and my favorite. It portrays a sense of night time that not many of our other pieces for the class so far have touched upon: one of serenity and calmness. Images like "When we are old one night and the moon / arcs over the house like an antique / China saucer and the teacup sun..." and "...before sleep--and that we kiss / standing in the kitchen not fighting / gravity..." evoke feelings of quiet and acceptance.

So often the night is associated with mystery and fright and it is not often that we encounter a feeling of acceptance. It is as if in this poem everything around the couple is accepted, whether in obscurity or not, and they know that even if there are scary things out there in the shadows, they have no desire to know what they are or go seek them out. They are content with each other in their kitchen and it's beautiful.

Something that is particularly striking to me is that, even though they are content within themselves, their "teapot wakes the neighbors". They, however, do not leave the house in order to affect the people outside of it. Therefore, they are still content in their closed off world within the night, and others wake up to hear what is outside. It seems as if these two people are the only two who have discovered the secret to living comfortably in the night time: do not be curious of the unknown!

"The Silver Key" by H.P. Lovecraft

"Wonder had gone away, and he had forgotten that all life is only a set of pictures in the brain, among which there is no difference betwixt those born of real things and those born of inward dreamings, and no cause to value the one above the other" (193).
This unsure nature of life is probably what makes the speaker of the story regard his surroundings as "... a meaningless universe without fixed aims or stable points of reference" (195). Without knowing whether or not your remembrances and associations are "real" or imaginary in some moment of your past, how can we even insert ourselves into a context of the world. This could be quite a frustrating experience for some people, as not knowing whether your thoughts are based on reality or make-believe is not a very stable position to be in. But, then again, I could go into the "but what IS reality anyway? How do we know anything is real at all?" But I won't because I absolutely despise this philosophy. Although it could have some truth to it, I don't see a reason for it to matter at all. If it is something that we perceive to have happened, than my opinion as that we should simply accept that it happened and believe it to be fact, even if it could be part of this 'dream-world' we could possibly all be living in. If we walked around not accepting that a table was a table, living would be extremely difficult and we wouldn't be able to go on in the world. Honestly, I think it would just cause half of the worlds people to go mentally insane. I have even confused myself in writing this blog post, and even contemplating the possibility that nothing could be real has frustrated me.

On Dreams by Sigmund Freud

I'm finding it quite difficult to recall my first impressions of this book, even with my notes and highlights right in front of me. It is so factual and textbook-like that there is really not much room for interpretation, but I can attempt to insert my own experience into the position of some of the ideas Freud posits here.

"We must in any case suppose that even during deep sleep a certain amount of free attention is on duty as a guard against sensory stimuli, and that this guard may sometimes consider waking more advisable than a continuation of sleep. Otherwise there would be no explanation of how it is that we can be waked up at any moment by sensory stimuli of some particular quality" (67).

Some part of the brain, some faculty, must still be conscious in this respect. And if this is possible, it reinforces my belief that we can, at times, force ourselves awake during times of great dream distress or fright.

There have been rare occasions in which I am dreaming and something scary or unfavorable to me is happening in my dream and I consciously make the decision to wake up at that particular point in time. That means that some part of our brain must also be aware that we are dreaming and know that none of what is happening is real. I can also remember instances in which I have chosen to keep dreaming to see what happens, and feeling excited about it.

But, if this is true, then it seems as if we should be able to go back to sleep and decide what to dream about or to go back into a dream that was previously interrupted. This seems, in my experience and any other accounts of experience I have encountered in the past, to be impossible. Therefore, my conclusion is that the subconscious and the conscious mind are both at work here, in some kind of strange limbo or maybe even a battle for the brain.

There have also been times of dreaming so vivid that I have found myself waking up in either extreme relief or sadness to find out that it wasn't, in fact, real. My theory is that it depends on the degree of sleep depth. The deeper you are in sleep, the less likelihood of your conscious mind playing a part in your nighttime musings. There are so many different parts of the brain in play here as well as outside effects on dreaming that it all seems endlessly mysterious to me... Freud's thoughts on the matter definitely gave me some ideas and theories that I can base further thought regarding dreams on--he gave me a starting point that I'm not sure I would've been able to find otherwise.

"The Eyes" by Edith Wharton

In reading this piece, I repeatedly found myself trying to find a reason for the surfacing of The Eyes. I was trying to discern some sort of pattern that would allow me to predict when they would appear next due to Culwin's experiences or actions. I really couldn't find a concrete formula for their appearance, but it seems as if, more often than not, The Eyes appear at moments in which Culwin believes he is doing something good or morally acceptable. He first experiences the eyes the night after declaring that he "went up to bed with a rather heavy heart, for [he] was bound under the weight of the first good action [he] had ever consciously committed" (815).

One distinction that I think is important to make here is that his "good actions" are only good in the sense that he believes them to be for some reason or another. He admits that he has to consciously "decide to do what was right" (key word here being decide--it wasn't a natural inclination but a conscious decision), when he tells Alice that when he goes abroad, she should go with him (815). Thus, the very night after this first "good" action, The Eyes show themselves. Many people would posit that leading a girl on and telling her he wants to marry her, despite his making it very clear earlier that he is not attracted to her and thinks her very "uninteresting," is actually a very morally corrupt thing to do (814). But Culwin here believes that he is doing some service to the poor girl by lying to her and in this way showing some sort of pity for her. He didn't want her to come with him on his trip but he didn't want to hurt her by leaving her, so he invited her along. This act is controversial when it comes to how "right" or "wrong" it is, but the point is that at this particular moment, the foreboding Eyes decide to pass their judgment.

His view of doing the right thing seems to be making another person happy, whether based on a lie or not. This happens again with Gilbert Noyes, Alice's cousin. In this instance, he tells Gilbert that his writing is "all right" even though he believes it to be absolutely deplorable, in the hopes of sparing the boy's feelings and keeping him ignorantly happy. The Eyes rear their ugly head in this moment to pass their judgment once again. "Since [he]'d made Gilbert happy they simply wouldn't loosen their fangs" (824). It is nearly the same situation as before with Alice.

The only conclusion I can make of this is that, after dark, Culwin's decisions confront him in his most vulnerable psychological state--sleep. The night time brings truth and The Eyes may represent a sort of truth in that they show him that although his decisions to spare peoples feelings may bring immediate gratification to them, overall they are not morally sound actions because they are based on lies.

"Berenice" by Edgar Allan Poe

A dichotomy I had never thought of before that Poe posits here: "...evil is a consequence of good, so, in fact, out of joy is sorrow born. Either the memory of past bliss is the anguish of to-day, or the agonies which are have their origin in the ecstasies which might have been" (141).

It is an interesting perspective from which to approach life from, and though depressing, it seems to be quite accurate. Everything we do or encounter, we compare to something else. We have no choice, no other experience from which to base our current experiences off of other than those that we have already had ourselves. One cannot feel joy without having had sorrow, or vice versa. Everything is dependent upon something else--everything is relevant.

Apart from this compelling idea, another thing that I particularly noticed, especially toward the end of the story, was dreamlike quality that the narrative itself took on. All throughout the story there are moments in which day and night are rapidly changing or meshed together, and it is difficult to keep track. It is as if the entire end of the story is one long bout of fitful sleeping that lasts many days and in which he traverses between the dream world and the real world many times.

"She had been seized with epilepsy in the early morning, and now, at the closing in of the night... I found myself sitting in the library, and again sitting there alone seemed that I had newly awakened from a confused and exciting dream. I knew that it was now midnight..." (146). The story before and after this is also filled with declarations of the time of night or day, seemingly very close together and jumbled.

He confesses that "of that dreary period that intervened [he] had no positive--at least no definite comprehension. Yet its memory was replete with horror--horror more horrible from being vague, and terror more terrible from ambiguity... written all over with dim, and hideous, and unintelligible recollections. [He] strived to decypher them, but in vain..." He also "shudder[s] in regarding" things without knowing the reason for his unexplainable fear.

This all strikes me because I have experienced a similar feeling before. I see something, an item or person that to anyone else would mean nothing, and I get a sense of foreboding, fear, or even excitement but I don't know why. Upon thinking about it further, I know I had a dream about that thing but I can't remember the dream at all, just the feeling or sentiment attached to it or in association with it and it is the strangest sensation. I believe these types of associations are with everyone and affect the ways in which people regard certain things without even being aware of it. The seemingly "random" feeling they had once has accompanied them throughout their lives and changed the ways in which they respond to specific things. Granted, we might not go to the extremities of pulling out a corpse's teeth in response to these feelings... At least I hope not.

"Young Goodman Brown" by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Firstly, I'd like to point out this universal assumption that the night time brings harm. It seems that since the beginning of time, the time "after dark" has always been associated with danger. This is curious because, in a way, the night time could signify a time of serenity and calmness. Nevertheless, the widely accepted assumption is manifested in this sentence in "Young Goodman Brown," when Goodman Brown is speaking to his wife before his departure on his night journey:

"Say thy prayers, dear Faith, and go to bed at dusk, and no harm will come to thee" (2258).

I think this is a very fitting way to begin my blog because it lends some insight into the common assumptions regarding our class theme.

Some additional adjectives used throughout the story to describe the night time are "dreary," "evil," "wild," "frightful," "scorn," "deception," and "gloomy."

Also during the night, Goodman Brown seems to be in a dreamlike state, while embarking on his journey through the forest. At one point, while talking to the serpent at the beginning of the trip he exclaims, "'Too far, too far!' exclaimed the goodman, unconsciously resuming his walk" (2259). This calls to mind my own personal experiences with dreaming. There have been many instances in which I do not want to continue in my dream, due to fear, disgust, or any other reason, but I have no choice but to keep moving forward and see what happens next. This seems to be what Goodman Brown is doing.

The night time also breaks down barriers in the story and in real life. It seems to me that at night people are less ashamed to do more outlandish things. My theory is that, because it seems as if there is a veil of obscurity (darkness) at night, people feel as if they can do whatever they desire and they are less likely to be seen. Not only that, but there is a sort of barrier between night and day and it is as if what happens at night can be unspoken of during the day, because the daytime brings reality rushing back. The passage that brings these ideas to mind is: "It was strange to see, that the good shrank not from the wicked, nor were the sinners abashed by the saints" (2264). And though the night may obscure truths, it has the capacity to reveal them as well: "This night it shall be granted you to know their secret deeds; how hoary-bearded elders of the church have whispered wanton words to the young maids of their households; how many a woman, eager for widow's weeds, has given her husband a drink at bedtime, and let him sleep his last sleep in her bosom"... etc. (2265). The controversial nature of the time after dark is exemplified in "Young Goodman Brown" and I think it illustrates well some of the connotations the night time holds in peoples minds. In this respect, it was a good first piece for our class to read because it puts things into a perspective of sorts.

The Plan

For my senior capstone, my plan is to write a short blog entry about each piece we read in ENG 445. For the blog stage of this project, I simply want to make note of the most prominent impressions I get initially from each piece before talking about them in class--just my unbiased thoughts based on reading the piece in a very stream-of-consciousness fashion. I may also note things the texts make me think of or remind me of, include pictures, or compare them to other things I've read in the past; but mostly, I will point to excerpts or quotes from the texts that particularly strike me. At the end of this process, I am going to review all of the aspects I've noticed about the works as a whole and look for any patterns that may arise or a commonality between most of my thoughts regarding them. I am hoping to reach a personal conclusion regarding the class theme of "After Dark" and expand on it in a final paper, tying all the works we have covered in class together. I will title each blog entry with the title and author name for simplicity's sake.